Sunday, February 26, 2006

On Misery and Love.

I thought today, I would tell you my story...

I was a young mother. I had my first babba at the age of 21. I was also single at the time. I enjoyed motherhood immensely, most of the time. I didn't work, and I lived with my mother.

I then met my ex, and we moved in together and I had babba number two. When the princess was two months old (after she was in and out of hospital for the first month or so), I went off to work. Peter worked days, and I worked nights, so we passed each other at the door. Although I enjoyed my job, I didn't want to be working, but I also didn't want to be spending too much time with my partner. (Sad, but true and I was so young and silly at the time). Not too long after we acquired a new house and a bigger mortgage, and Peter was on Worker's Compensation. I felt I HAD to work, as he was at home with the girls full-time. I nearly left the relationship then, but didn't. I am one of those people who has to make sure I have done the best I can before I give up.

So, in an effort to lift my flagging spirits, I suggested we move to Australia - my mother and sister were here, and I felt I needed the support. We had been here a month, barely settled in, when I found out I was pregnant with Harry Bear. I was devastated. I was in a relationship with a man who had no respect for me, and I was having another babba. But, there was nothing to be done, I had to make the best of the situation. For the next six years, I stayed at home with my babies, and I was miserable. I would cook and clean, but it was never good enough for this man - he would come home and do it all over again. In the end I gave up. Why should I waste my time, if he was going to do it anyway?

I eventually got myself a part-time job, because I knew the relationship was over, and I needed some independence. The children were all at school, and it was the right thing for me at the time. Peter didn't like it. I had told him it was over, and I was sleeping on the couch every night, staying only until I had saved some money to enable me to move out. He hated it, and became very nasty, because he was losing his control. He kicked me out. He got very dirty, kidnapped the kids from my sister's house, and a lot of other horrible things.

Not too long afterwards, I was lucky enough to get into a relationship with my Sweetie. What that man went through! Peter went nuts and followed him around, attacked him in the local supermarket, stole his wallet, and generally exhibited deranged behaviour. We look back and laugh now, but really, how many men would stay with a woman if it was causing so much trouble? Peter has calmed down now - three years later. At the time he assumed I had been having an affair and that is why I left. In actuality, to me, the relationship with him had been dead for years. I never had an affair - it started after it was all over. Anyway...

Friends tried to tell me it was because he loved me so much that he was behaving this way. I knew better, it was always control with him, and he was still trying to have it his way. I dropped out of life for a while. Stayed home, had no contact with friends. I needed to get my head together. It worked.

I am so incredibly grateful to have been given the chance to have a wonderful life with a man I love more than I ever thought possible. And for him to love me equally. He has taken on the role of supporter of my children, who adore him as much as I do. He has his faults, but I wouldn't be without him for anything in the world. We saved each other, we support each other, and he relishes me being at home to look after everything for him, and I love to do it.

Thirteen years ago, I could never have imagined that I could have it all, but I do. I have all that I need to make me happy, and so today, I am saying thank you. I have absolutely nothing to complain about. And Peter, thank you. Without you, I would never be able to appreciate all that is so good about my life now.

--------------------oOo--------------------

8 Comments:

Blogger shellyC said...

You are proof taht we need to experience some bad to know just how good the good things are!!! Well done for being strong and changing your life around!! You so deserve it!!!

6:21 PM  
Blogger Kristy said...

Thanks for sharing so much.It shows that it's not what life throws at us that matters but how we learn from it.I wish you all lots of blessings for the future.

8:55 PM  
Blogger Gina E. said...

Gosh, you have been through the mill! I haven't experienced anything like you have, except for my first husband. Like your relationships, I am glad he was in my life first, because I appreciate Ken so much more in comparison.

10:43 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Good for you being strong enough to take control of your life back and enjoying the one you have now all the more because of it.

3:37 AM  
Blogger VintagePretty said...

Wow, well done you for being strong enough to leave someone who was so controlling. It makes me feel very lucky to have found someone so lovely :-) But good things come from bad, and you'll be a much stronger person for this experience, so in the end it was possibly a positive thing!

Have a good week!

7:12 AM  
Blogger dolly said...

what a lovely post, it brought tears to my eyes...I am so pleased that you made it through the rough and now have a someone you love so much..oh and loves you back! *smile*

btw where were you before Australia ~ I presumed you had always been here? dollyx

8:00 AM  
Blogger Nicole said...

I just want to wrap you up in cotton wool! I think we are measured by our experiences and how challenging they were. Technically Suzie, you should be standing with your head in the heavens! Gosh, we all have our stories, though some seem quite small compared to others, and mine have suddenly disappeared. Thank you for sharing with me... and know that because of you... my life is fuller and my heart plumper than it was yesterday. ;)

3:51 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

What a word.. Plumper! You do know what I mean don't you.. LOL

3:52 PM  

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